Starting at a new place is scary. I probably worry too much about waking up late, getting lost, forgetting something, and most of all looking like an incompetent fool. As a student in a new program, a lot is riding on me to make a good impression at a practice that has yet to use a PA. The pressure is on. Fortunately, my preceptors seem really cool and flexible. To be perfectly honest that wasn't something I was expecting in surgeons. I didn't know what to expect besides long, demanding hours. I also have about 8 weeks to prove my worth. That's a good while to get the hang of things and hopefully be useful. Right now I feel as if I've been tagging along like a puppy dog - trying to stay out of the way and utterly exhausted at the end. I struggle with being insecure about my limited abilities as a newbie and trying to exude confidence to not freak out the patients. Fake it 'til you make it as they say. Not sure if it works. I want to be myself and yet be everything the preceptors want me to be. Rural Wisconsin is an experience in itself especially after life in larger cities/suburbs for the last several years up until just recently. Besides doing a good job in surgery, I don't want to be a burden staying on the farm either. I have a lot to read up on and my schedule is unpredictable. Wish me luck!
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