I feel as if I'm in a state of limbo: I don't know how long I'm here for. So for the meantime I'm stuck in Wisconsin (somewhere between Baraboo and Madison), waiting for my departure for Argentina to be set. It'll be a while. If I knew I would tell you. At times it is frustrating, but I'm still okay with it. Meanwhile, I'm learning a lot that is undoubtedly preparing me for this adventure known as life.
I'm learning more about who I am and who I want to be, but I won't bore you with the details here now as it would make for an exceedingly long post.
I'm learning the proverb "Patience is a virtue" and I don't have it! I like to think that I'm persevering in this waiting period and hope that I'm gaining this virtue in the process. It's a good one to have.
I'm learning that God comforts us not to make us comfortable, but to make us comforters. Suffering is awful, but at least there's always a good reason for the pain. It just may not be immediate.
I'm learning God's timing is right even if it isn't according to my plan. (You'd think I would have figured this out already. Sometimes I can be stubborn and need life lessons reinforced repeatedly.) It would seem these all stem from the first lesson I pointed out.
My understanding is deepening in respect to trust and grace and love and generosity.
I appreciate the value of relationships even more these days. I've said this before, but I'll say it again. It will be immensely difficult to leave the supporting community I have in WI. But I can't wait to build one in Argentina. I'm delighted to find out what relationships will develop in that culture.
I have a long way to go, but I see progress! I expect to be graded on improvement even if I fail. More tests and problems are coming, but I should be prepared to face them.
Also I have a new favorite song to share because certain songs identify different stages in my life or express my mood in ways only music can capture. This is my song for this "stalled state" I'm in.
The Motions by Matthew West
This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life
I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking what if I had given everything instead of going through the motions?
No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life
'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking What if I had given everything instead of going through the motions?
Take me all the way
I don't wanna go through the motions
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